Facebook vs Face Time: I'll Take The Latter

Unless you've been living on another planet, you've no doubt heard about this little thing called Facebook. More than likely, you're a participant because last I heard, there were over 500 million of us, 70% of whom reside outside the US.

I joined at the urging of an old classmate just prior to my 40th high school reunion and though I've never looked back, I admit to having a Love/Hate relationship with what is certainly an amazing venue.

For several months leading up to that reunion - my first ever - I was able to connect with roughly 200 old classmates and friends, the majority of whom I hadn't seen nor spoken to in all those 40 years.

Following high school, not only did I move away, but my family (parents, five younger brothers and sisters) left New York and moved to Florida. The home I grew up in was now occupied by another family and what connections I had retained, were scattered throughout the country.

I later married, moved to Colorado and eventually lost touch completely with anyone from my home town.

Facebook changed all that and nervous as I was about attending my first reunion, I walked into a room full of friends and familiar faces thanks to the connections made via Facebook.

Though I had not seen any of these people in 40 years (and let's get real - most of us have changed drastically in four decades) I immediately recognized everyone who had a Facebook account thanks to recent pictures they had posted. There were, of course, a few who looked exactly the same or better and I'll be honest here: I was jealous!

One former fellow cheerleader wore her high school cheerleading outfit to the Friday night meet and greet. Damn, she looked fabulous. And why not? She's a pilates instructor and gets paid to have a body like that.  Now, if someone were willing to pay me to...oh, wait...never mind...

Via Facebook I had learned who was married, divorced or widowed. I knew where they went to college, where they lived now or had travelled to, what they did for a living, how many children and grandchildren they had. I even knew all about their beloved pets.

Because of Facebook, I was able to attend an event with people I hadn't seen in four decades and probably knew more about them and their lives than I did while we were in high school!

Facebook became communication central for the reunion committee and word spread fast. It was, according to those who've attended all past reunions, the most well attended and best reunion to date. There were no awkward moments prior to the alcohol kicking in. It was instant party. Facebook deserves much of the credit and I'll continue to enjoy the many renewed connections I've made.

But Facebook should never be a substitute for Face Time.

At the start of my Facebook experience I was accepting or making friend requests on an almost daily basis, the majority of whom were those old classmates, scattered around the world, eager to reconnect prior to our reunion.

As word spread and more and more people dropped their fear of social networking and joined, I began to get those requests from many of my friends who lived locally. I readily accepted but didn't really see the need when they lived in the same town or nearby and we could see each other any time we so desired. I was still in the midst of the learning curve made ever more challenging by the fact that Facebook continually changed their format and settings, but soon learned about the block, hide and de-friend options and admit to de-friending a few people I probably shouldn't have. Not PC I'm told but I was still trying to figure it all out.

After our reunion, when the flurry of communication subsided, I started to take inventory of the contacts I had amassed and began the process of trying to figure out exactly how I would use Facebook in the future.
At the same time, I began the process of hiding all those game posts and such that appeared on the Live Feed wall, (apologies to those who play but those of us who don't, find it annoying) along with all those inane posts from the political extremists, whiners, complainers and attention whores.

With the exception of those few who travel extensively or leave Boulder for extended periods of time, I scoured my friends list looking for those locals I could eliminate because we surely didn't need Facebook to connect if we lived in the same town. We all have phones we can use to call, and coffee shops, restaurants and homes we can gather in. It seemed to me that the whole point of it was to connect with those living far away, out of state or out of the country.
There is so much lost when one chooses to communicate through text, twitter, email and Facebook.
Gone is one's ability to hear voice inflections, read body language, catch that smile, smirk or raised eyebrow.
I toy constantly with the idea of deactivating my Facebook account but then something will happen that makes me rethink that option such as the posting of a picture of my brother and his first grandson mere minutes after his birth. That is the real reason I'll probably have to stay on Facebook.
Like it or not, Facebook is here to stay.

As for my relationships with anyone living close enough to meet for a cup of coffee?
I prefer to do just that. I want to see you. I want to hear your voice. I want to watch you laugh, roll your eyes, grimace in disgust, cringe, toss your hair, smile.
I want to hug when we meet or say our goodbye.
I want to connect on a personal rather than virtual level.
Hike on Monday?
Golf Tuesday?
Lunch on Wednesday?
Coffee on Thursday?
Dinner on Friday?
We live in the same town.
Am I really your friend?
Are you mine?
Let's pick up the phone.
Let's make a date.
Let's prove it.

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
Albert Schweitzer