Friday, February 11, 2011

60 is the new 40...right?

You know you're getting old when you start referring to your time on earth in decades rather than years.

In hindsight, my 30th birthday was not the time of mourning everyone had made it out to be. I came of age at a time when none of my peers trusted anyone over 30.
But having just separated from my first husband, I viewed turning 30 as a beginning rather than an end. I had two beautiful children I absolutely adored and was full of high hopes. I stepped out of the stay-at-home-mommy box and quickly found a job I liked that almost paid my bills.
I began living life as a single mother and learned to deal with the ramifications of a divorce, especially as it affected my children though it was not easy and I would never wish it on anybody. But this was the choice I made and I was determined to make the best of it.
When my 40's rolled around, I found myself happily remarried with a lovely home and another beautiful daughter. I was sure life couldn't get any better. 
I stepped back into the stay-at-home-mommy box but loved every minute of it. I took up golf, learned how to email, became a serial volunteer and was able to oversee a few remodeling projects on our home.
As the kids grew, so did I.
And I'll never understand why all those 50th birthday decorations are black because I certainly didn't see a funeral in my future. 50 was great! I loved my 50's! The last decade has been perhaps the best of my life! 
It was during my 50's that we celebrated graduations from high school, college and grad school. My son enlisted in the US Navy, married, left for two wartime deployments, was honorably discharged, returned home but later divorced. I was not unfamiliar with the challenges of a "too young" marriage and though sad, was not surprised.
Two of them left Colorado for several years but returned, and family celebrations became whole again.
Jim and I were happy and began to plan for and talk of his future retirement. We played golf together and with our many friends and my handicap dropped significantly. I even beat him on occasion!
He bought me my first digital camera as an anniversary gift and with more time on my hands, I embraced this new technology. I gave away or donated all my old film cameras. There was a learning curve but I finally got it! 
In a brief moment of insanity I thought of doing this professionally but almost immediately realized that I detested those pesky business details and preferred to use what little talent I had as a gift to others. 
Jim, who had illusions of my bringing in a second income, was less than thrilled but as usual (God love him) accepted the reality that I was not going to become the next Annie Leibovitz!
My favorite project to date? 
Photographing high school seniors in The I Have A Dream Foundation of Boulder County program and providing them with senior portraits and a picture CD for their high school yearbook. 
For the kids who were not even sure where they'd find the money to pay for their cap and gown, the gift of beautiful senior portraits was more than they'd ever hoped for. Talk about feeling appreciated! Wow!
I'd found my niche and realized this is what I was meant to do with my photography.
Yup! Loved my 50's! Best decade ever! Life is good!
But as my 60th loomed, I realized it wasn't going to be as easy as those previous milestone birthdays that had a zero in it.
I wouldn't say I was depressed, but there was an inexplicable feeling of dread at the thought of turning 60 and it rather surprised me.
I had survived the sixties and was now turning 60. Holy crap!
I cannot say what the next decade has in store for me but no sooner had I started to type this entry, I received an email from a friend in Colorado who lost two sisters, one 66 and the other 62, within two days. Upon learning of the death of her older sister, the younger of the two had a massive heart attack and died. One funeral took place today and the other is scheduled for Tuesday.
I just called and my heart is breaking for them.
60?
No problem!
I think I'm just happy to be here!

Do not regret growing older.  It is a privilege denied to many.  
~Author Unknown


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