Letting Off Steam

Someone who betrays your trust, commits treason or throws you under the bus is a traitor, not a trader.
When one sobs uncontrollably they are bawling, not balling.
Every word that ends with an 's' does not have an apostrophe!
Would you please learn the difference between they're, their and there?
And while you're at it, learn the difference between then and than, woman and women, who's and whose, affect and effect, or two, to and too.

Oh! And the word is housebroken, not housebroke.
Him and I went to Wal-Mart.  Wrong!

He and I went to Barnes & Noble. Correct!

And I don't claim to be an English professor but who the hell ever came up with "prolly?"
The word is "probably."
I detest this computer chat and texting shorthand crap!

I've got to tell you, some days I sit here and want to scream out loud.
Wait! I do scream out loud!
I'm not referring to the writings of the third graders my daughter is teaching.
These grammatical, spelling and punctuation errors are made by people who are either in college, have graduated already or claim to have a master's degree!

Shall I begin the mourning process now?
Is the English language dead or just on life support?
Since death is inevitable, I'm hoping to be reincarnated and come back in 25 years or so.
Will I need an interpreter to read, write and speak?

"Where's the party at?"
Never mind!
You're not invited!
You sound like a rube!

There!
I feel better now.

Sure! Take A Look At My Junk!

I haven't flown since July, but have been giving my next trip considerable thought in the wake of the new Body Scans we are now being subjected to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEJC-FuOSZ4
(Sorry. You'll have to copy and paste to view this. Can't get the link option to work.)

Having just had my annual mammogram and my first ever bone density scan, I figure I've endured enough radiation this month so I'm grateful I don't have to fly in the immediate future.
But my husband flies often for business and one of my daughters will be boarding a plane in a couple of weeks.
I do hope they'll give some consideration to which security procedure they'll find least objectionable.
The Body Scan, a virtual strip search, or the new enhanced "pat down," which guarantees some random TSA agent a quick feel of a passenger's breasts, groin and butt crack.

Airline pilots have been advised to "opt out" of the scanners due to the unknown long term effects of this "perfectly safe" radiation - prudent when one considers the exposure pilots, and flight attendants for that matter, must endure just to go to work.
But what's the average traveler to do?
Of course we want to feel safe and secure boarding our next flight but are these enhanced security screenings worth it?
It's one thing to spread your legs in the privacy of the doctor's office but an altogether different experience in the crowded security area of a bustling airport.

And what about the disabled, elderly or small children?
Haven't we all taught our young children to never allow a stranger to touch them, especially their "private parts?"
How do parents now handle this dilemma?
Blast them with radiation or let some stranger touch them where we've always said they should not?
And I know of more than one eighty-something who would rather drive 3000 miles than submit themselves to a scan or a pat down. Is this what we want? Thousands of Octogenarians driving cross country to the granddaughter's wedding?
Wanna bet all this enhanced security will be nothing more than a dare for some to see if they can beat the system?
We'll be hearing lots more about it.
But as for me...
I'm a nearly 60 year old post menopausal mother of three. The excess stuff I'm packing is not explosive, I swear!
One tends to lose all sense of modesty after giving birth in a crowded room with cameras.
In my younger days I'd hop naked into a hot tub and I've mooned fellow rafters on a river trip.
I even went skinny dipping recently, although it was dark and at our age we now call it "Chunky Dunking."
You want to scan this broken down old body TSA?
Sure. Go ahead. Take a look.
Just don't be touching my junk!

Rescue Dog or Not?

Crate. Check!
Dog bed. Check!
Puppy food. Check!
Dog toys. Check!
We were as ready as we'd ever be for the arrival of our newest family member, a Shih Tzu pup we'd already named Boomer!
We fell in love, CORRECTION: I fell in love, with his picture in an email sent by my friend Pam's sister Angela in Indiana. She owned the mother and as luck would have it, had a litter of three just waiting for my choosing following the death of our beloved Baxter.
My first thought was, "No...I have to rescue a dog from the Humane Society."
It's where my heart had always been and we'd had such great luck over the years bringing home wonderful dogs who desperately needed a family to take them in and love them forever.
With one exception, every dog I've ever had the pleasure of owning came from a shelter or a home where they weren't cared for or not wanted. "Of course," I said. "It's the right thing to do."
But a little voice in my head kept reminding me that I'd spent the better part of the last 10 years caring for dogs with health issues ranging from thyroid conditions and mange, to diabetes and most recently, cancer.
We'd been fortunate we could afford the cost of vet bills and medications, including insulin and chemo drugs for the diabetes and cancer.

But something told me I deserved a break and should go for this pup that offered a known medical background and better chance for a long life and good health. So although I realized there are never any guarantees, I picked out the pup who consistently looked into the camera lens for Angela's slightly out of focus but very tempting pictures and said, "That's the one!"
My next project was to figure out a way to get him from Bluffton, Indiana (a two hour drive from Indianapolis) to Boulder, Colorado.
Although Angela had shipped pups all over the world, no dog of mine was going to be traumatized by a trip in the cargo hold of a plane! I'd heard nightmare stories and knew I couldn't handle it emotionally if anything were to happen to our new pup.
I considered meeting Angela and Boomer in Indianapolis and returning home the same day but then asked Pam if any of her family were considering a visit to Boulder (it's so lovely in the Fall!) in the immediate future because if they were, I'd offer to pay half the airfare in exchange for them bringing our new pup on the plane with them. Boomer's ticket, which allowed him to ride in his snazzy carrier under the seat in front, cost as much as any other one way human passenger sitting in a seat, but hell, we had to get him here somehow!
So on Tuesday October 19, Pam's 80 year old mother Jane, nervously boarded a non-stop from Indianapolis and escorted our little Boomer home. (A huge thank you to Jane, Pam and Angela for all their help making this happen!)
Despite her worst fears, our little pup never made a peep, nor did he have an accident in his carrier. 
For that, he politely waited until he walked in the door of our home where he was greeted by a small gathering of family and friends.
Okay, so he held it all day. What's the poor little guy to do?
Jim tracked the flight from Indianapolis and provided us with regular text message updates:
*Boomer has boarded!
*Boomer is traveling at 441 mph at an altitude of 34,000 feet!
*Boomer has entered Colorado airspace!
*Boomer's ETA at DIA is now 5:03 pm.
*Boomer has landed!
His humor was appreciated and made us laugh as we anxiously awaited Boomer's arrival.

So, it's been almost three weeks now and Boomer has settled in nicely.
He's figured out our routine, has bonded with our other dog Abby (adopted from the Humane Society 2 1/2 years ago following the death of Buddy) and is doing extremely well with housebreaking.
He's smart, he's feisty, he's cuddly, he makes us laugh every day and appears to love his new home and family. And he should! He's graduated to sleeping in our bed at night!
After Baxter died, we really needed something to mend our broken hearts and Boomer, as we now know, was the answer.
So in the end, I guess we really did get a rescue dog... but it's Boomer who's rescued us!